dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
