Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
