I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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