Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize