I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
