Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
