i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
