Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
