Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
