My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Is it because I queefed?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The Olympian is in my bed
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
