im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
