I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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