Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
