I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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