Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
did i walk over a car last night?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize