How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
