it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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