Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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