Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
