I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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