I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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