He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
