with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
