Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he puts the penis in happiness.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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