I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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