That's intense
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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