sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He kissed a someone with a penis
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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