so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.