The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube