just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.