That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops