We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Congratulations! We have a period
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize