Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i think im in europe. pls send help
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
