Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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