Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm at about main and main street
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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