9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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