I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
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