a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
