Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
