Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
