Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
