Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
