No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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