hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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