He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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