I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
