Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
