I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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