i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
