This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
everyone is single if you try hard enough
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
