All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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