she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
