he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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