I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
