you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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