The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
