Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
