Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
