so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
