He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
