Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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