He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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