Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
